I, David Schwimmer

predicteth:

 

Thine wilt meet a dark-haired

man (or woman, whatever thine case may be)

at a nearby grove, marry and have four offspring.

Maketh certain not to spendeth thine last days

in the company of vultures who wilt poke-eth

thine eyes with great outrageous vigor.

 

 

 

Thus sayeth I